Have you ever wondered if saying nothing at all is more appropriate in some circumstances?
I have been to many workshops and groups asking me about my goals and expectations and what I want to manifest. Over the last few years, I have started to fully respect my choice to remain silent, no matter how difficult it may be for the other party. Not because I was in avoidance and refused to talk, simply because there were no words, there was no urgency inside me to speak at all.
A woman at a more recent gathering asked everyone what their expectations were for the day. I said I had none, only to remain open and support my community.
I have always been one for savouring silence and quiet space. I love it and I feel at home when the silence is peaceful, deep and effortless. I have been in many situations where silence is uncomfortable. If a sudden lull in communication occurs, it is the social norm to 'fill the space', with something... if it's really uncomfortable with anything! These silences are not comfortable or peaceful, in fact, they are rather loud. Sharing a truly peaceful, at ease and wholesome quietness with another is incredibly beautiful. There is no fear of a void of verbal communication. Rather, there is an unspoken understanding and one is able to just 'be' with what is in that moment.
I used to withhold and exclude myself from groups and (most) people. I had that tranquil space when I was alone and with a select few, yet my level of trust was pretty low. It was safer to remain unreachable. Now, I have learnt to check in with myself to see if I am self-excluding (holding myself out). Despite this, I have always loved vulnerability; being deeply vulnerable with others, because I have witnessed such profound healing. Life long connections and friendships have bloomed from that raw space and now the trust in my fellow humans has grown. At times when I feel I am loosing trust in humanity, I remember staying connected to that deep authentic space is very important as it ripples out into the world in a subtle and long lasting way.
Silence and listening are two incredibly powerful gifts. It is quite rare to come across quality listening. I feel that this deep space is for the self, just as much as it is for listening to others. If I don't feel moved to speak, then I don't speak. I am honoured to have experienced the power of speech and silence over the years. For someone who rarely spoke at all, to then finding my voice, this has been such an empowering journey.
Feeling moved to speak can vary for each person. Being in talking circles have also provided amazing opportunities for me to trust in myself and others - to hold each other without judgement and with respect in those naked places. I found connections and community where I no longer felt like I need to edit myself or hide from my wildness. I am accepted and I can be all of who I am, returning to a quiet space inside myself in the presence of others - this is what wholesome, real community is all about.
Blog written by Laura Naomi
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© Laura Naomi
Blogs are inspired by transformation of the human spirit, by love, wellness and the journey of the soul. The writing is to inspire and raise awareness.