Laura Naomi
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Soulful Living

The difference between Discernment and Judgment

3/13/2021

4 Comments

 
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“We do not see things as they are,
we see them as we are,”


​- Anaïs Nin


ॐ​​
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Discernment can be an aspect of compassion, and I feel it is part of a self-discovery process, which can also include understanding our own personal boundaries. Personally, I have found the art of discernment invaluable especially when in relationship with detachment. 

So what is the difference between discernment and judgment?

​Through my own experiences I feel that there are some distinct differences such as underlying intention or motivations. The way that I experience discernment is that I create space for myself and the situation, which gives me greater perspective. Once that space is created, I feel I can begin to listen to the energy both around and within me. With judgment it is more about separating the self from the other person or a situation, compartmentalization and projections. Why we judge can vary greatly. It may be because of fear, a reaction, or an unwillingness to see something inside of the self that the other person may have mirrored or triggered.

​The reason for discernment differs for everyone and it depends on what is happening in the moment and what we choose to do or not do. It is a navigation tool. Sometimes it could be about self-preservation. Other times it can reflect an understanding or awareness that certain things, energies, circumstances or people may not be healthy for us to be around or involved with.
​It is important to check in with deeper feelings about whether we are actually discerning from genuine compassion or motivated by a deeper fear (manifesting as judgment). I feel that only we can determine the validity of our own actions or non-actions, regardless of what others may say. Even if someone points out a blind-spot, ultimately, it is up to the individual to come to their own realization. Forcing or trying to change others is futile and often causes chaos or further difficulties. 

It is common that if we are judging something in someone else, we may be doing that very thing ourselves in some way but we are not aware of it or something was triggered within us. It is difficult to look inwards sometimes, especially if it is perceived as something negative or that we don't really like about ourselves. We also may not want to be seen that way by others.

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For me, discernment is an empowering quality and it is based on observation and awareness rather than creating separation and division. If we are judging someone or something there may be some part of the ego that wants to be 'right' and make the other person 'wrong'. Ego can manifest in so many different ways and can be an excellent teacher. It's always trying to make itself significant by identifying with certain emotions and personas and likes to make itself more important than others by competing and comparing. If we become stuck in these identifications (which is related to our conditioning), the connection with the true self can diminish immensely. A shift can happen when we are able to recognize and see triggers as an opportunity to discover more of ourselves and begin to embrace the whole self. 

In many cases, I feel it is actually a greater act of compassion to let go or step away from a situation rather than remain and deny our authentic selves or the authenticity of others. I feel if we are honoring our own essence from multiple perspectives (taking others into consideration as well), and coming from a place of respect, this is being compassionate.

It has been said many times by many people that when we judge others, we are judging ourselves. For those who come from a perspective that, "We Are All One", this is certainly true. Taking the time to enquire and learn about people's stories, their backgrounds and what they have experienced in this life, is helpful to better understand their behavior or why they are the way they are. To be able to walk (or attempt to walk!) in someone else's shoes is most definitely an act of compassion and empathy. It may not change the decision for discernment, but it can shift the energy from judgment to compassion, which energetically makes a big difference. 

Like so many things in life, part of the discovery process is determined by the individual. Since everyone is different, our experiences will vary, yet there is always an opportunity to be compassionate. To me, compassion and forgiveness is not about pretending something didn't happen or allowing something destructive to continue, it is more about setting myself and the other people involved free, therefore reclaiming my personal power. It can take a long time to reach a place of true forgiveness, however I feel if we are on the road working towards this then this is what matters.

​I feel that gaining insight with our ability to discern is mostly within the practice of it, and with patience, diligence and compassion we can create more awareness within ourselves over time.

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© Written by Laura Naomi

Recommended listening and reading:
"Shedding Light onto Shadow"
"Moving beyond Comparison and Competition"
4 Comments
Jon White
3/14/2021 06:42:01 am

What a great article, I like the part in particular about discerning in regards to what is healthy for us. Still working this one out lol, thanks!

Reply
Laura Naomi
4/10/2021 07:20:16 am

Thank you Jon, I appreciate the feedback! Yes it is more of a journey for some of us than others!

Reply
Sharon B
3/14/2021 08:52:43 am

I love how you just get to the core of things! I also like the idea that we see the world as we are... wow.... very interesting.
Love the Hawaiian prayer and you ladies sing a beautiful version.
🌺

Reply
Laura Naomi
4/10/2021 07:21:24 am

It is a great saying! And thank you so much Sharon! <3

Reply



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    Soulful Living Blog
    I love sharing my traveling journeys, be it when setting sail across the ocean or when I am called deep within, traveling spiritual miles. Although these experiences often bring a deep silence to my soul, I often love to share this depth and presence through art, photography, creative writing and music.

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